【Journey 02】 Cancer announcement – from hospital visits to my confusion

Hello, I’m Chico.

In the previous article, I talked about the process leading up to the cancer diagnosis
(from a year of ill health to the cancer announcement).

This time, I will talk about visiting a nearby clinic and asking for an examination.

Begging for testing at the clinic

Appealing for a year of bad condition and begging for an examination

I was worried about the malfunction that lasted for a year from 2018.

I visited several clinics in my neighborhood, but they just said “it’s food poisoning” “just a cold”, or “let’s wait and see”.

Even I had asked them, and they would never have given me a detailed examination.

With such anxiety and dissatisfaction, I finally found a clinic that handles ultrasounds and endoscopes!

Then I said this to a doctor at the clinic.

The flow of time speeding up

The doctor seemed a little surprised at my imminent appearance, but she said

She gave me an ultrasound the same day.

And from around here

I felt my clock start to turn faster and faster.

Suspected autoimmune pancreatitis diagnosed at the clinic

Ultrasonography revealed abnormalities in the pancreas

🕒 January 24, 2019 Ultrasound examination

I’ve had an abdominal ultrasound, but this time it felt like much much longer than before.

And my hunch was right.

As a result of the inspection, an abnormality was found,

The doctor told to get an MRI at a nearby imaging center.

MRI results suggested autoimmune pancreatitis

MRI scan at imaging center

I immediately made an appointment at the imaging center and got tested.

🕒 January 25, 2019 MRI appointment at Imaging Center

At this time, the inspection center was quite fully booked, but I managed to make an appointment in the shortest possible time.

🕒 February 4, 2019 MRI examination

Visiting the clinic with the MRI results

As soon as I finished the MRI examination, I went to the clinic with the test results.

🕒 February 4, 2019 Visited the clinic

The test results showed suspicion of autoimmune pancreatitis

After seeing the test results, the doctor made a slightly grim face

and said

Referral to a university hospital

Autoimmune pancreatitis is a nationally designated intractable disease. I remember being quite surprised by the diagnosis of such a disease.

The sooner the better, so as soon as I received the referral letter to the university hospital , I called the hospital.

🕒 February 4, 2019 Make an appointment at the university hospital

Thankfully, I made a reservation for the next day.

Diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the university hospital

The next day, I visited the university hospital with the referral letter and MRI results.

Consultation at the university hospital

🕒 February 5, 2019 First visit to the University Hospital

At the university hospital, they told me to needed a detailed examination immediately.

And they made an appointment for an inspection as soon as possible.

Detailed examination such as gastroscope and CT

🕒 February 12, 2019 Gastroscope

🕒 February 14, 2019 Contrast agent CT

🕒 February 14, 2019 Consultation to hear the results after the examination

Then..

Pancreatic Cancer Announcement

Shocking cancer diagnosis that I would never ever forget.

And after the day of this diagnosis, my life just changed so much into something I’d never expected before.

・・・・・・・

・・・・・

Hospitalization and Endoscopic Ultrasound Biopsy

I was hospitalized the day after the cancer was announced.

🕒February 15, 2019 Hospitalization

During hospitalization, tests were performed to make a definitive diagnosis and determine a treatment plan.

One big test was “Endoscopic Ultrasound-Guided Fine-Needle Aspiration (EUS-FNA)”.

🕒 February 15, 2019 Ultrasound Endoscopic Birth

Confusion before and after hospitalization

Just after being diagnosed with cancer, I did not understand the situation very well.

Perhaps my brain was refusing to accept the reality.

The cause, treatments, survival rate, the more I looked into it, the more bad information jumped into my eyes.

For the time being, on the day I received the notification, I went back to my home, submitted an application for high-cost medical expenses, and prepared for hospitalization from tomorrow.

Then, gradually I began to feel the reality.

Am I crying?

I waited for a while, wondering if I would cry like a typical drama scene, but not a single tear came out.

There are so much have to do

More than that, there was a lot of work to be done, and before I could immerse myself in sentimentality, only time fluttered by.

In addition to work arrangements, preparation for hospitalization, procedures for medical expenses, etc.

Anyway, I wanted to find out the identity of the disease, the treatment method, and the hospital as soon as possible, and then think about my next move.

Researching pancreatic cancer during in the hospital

Fortunately, during the hospitalization from the next day, there was nothing to do except examination.

I had time to study pancreatic cancer thoroughly.

What is pancreatic cancer? The reason is? How to treat?

It’s curable, right?

Of course I can live a long life as my plan, right?

・・・

・・・・・

However, when I searched the Internet, all I found was bad information that made me want to close my eyes.

Information on pancreatic cancer was too bad: intractable, low survival rate, etc.

「Cancer on the rise」(増え続ける膵がんの診断と治療｜東京医科大学病院)

「Characteristically, the number of cases and the number of deaths are almost equal」（膵臓がん｜がん研有明病院 ）

All that came out was bad information that really made me want to wrap my head around it.

・・・

What should I do now?

Anyway

・・・

First of all, I should find a hospital that is researching this pancreatic cancer and has a lot of treatment experience!

After the cancer announcement, I remember that my mind was spinning at full speed and it became difficult to even breathe.

How to stay calm under this extreme stress…

After a round of thinking and summarizing the information I had researched, my next thought was…

Keep calm

It was about how to keep myself calm.

After I was discharged from the hospital, I went to see Dr. S, the director of a clinic that I used to take care of.

Visiting a doctor you can truly trust

This Dr. S has a warm and humane personality, and is very good at getting close to patients.

When I thought about this, Dr. S. came to mind.

This doctor should be able to give me tips on how to proceed and how to choose a hospital from his professional perspective.

That’s what I thought.

Advice and encouragement from the doctor

I couldn’t meet him just right away because he was busy, but I’m glad I visited him.

Getting advice and words of encouragement when choosing treatments and hospitals,

I was about to take the first step towards the treatment that awaited me.

Lessons learned during this period – Trust my intuition and act

Feeling unwell, cancer diagnosis, confusion after announcement, throughout this period

I learned that sometimes trusting intuition and acting quickly can mean the difference between life and death.

◇　　◇　　◇　

A slump since 2018. I thought I should believe the doctor’s words, “It’s not a big deal.”

Of course, we should listen to the words of doctors who are medical experts. But a doctor is a doctor, not me.

◇　　◇　　◇　

At that time, I mustered up the courage to say this words to the doctor at the clinic

I felt sorry for being pushy.

But without this word, my pancreatic cancer may have gone unnoticed and gone untreatable.

◇　　◇　　◇　

Just like this, at times, listen to the voice of “own intuition” that may influence our future life or life and death.

I felt that I could trust the voice of intuition more.

Especially if that intuition feels “stronger” than usual, it may be time to act quickly.

Conclusion

The first cancer announcement was just so simple…

It felt like it was different from the scenes I used to watch in TV dramas.

And I myself couldn’t even shed tears without being soaked in sentimentality…

Just time passes by in a rush.

I will continue this story in the following article.